Parking "Rules"

I drive a HUGE SUV. It is large by choice, and out of necessity. Its funny, because I was adamant that I would never drive a huge car...boy, was I wrong. It's super nice, in my opinion..leather, sun roof, heated/air conditioned seats; the works. Here is my problem that I face no matter where I go...parking. Granted, I did it to myself by having a gargantuan car, but still, its a reality that I deal with daily.

There are like 4 of us that drive large cars at work. In our lot, we have a trash enclosure that takes up like 1/4 of a spot. So, it makes sense that a large car/SUV park over the line of the 1/4 spot and part of the next spot, thus making the 2nd spot larger too. It allows 2 large cars to park in prime spots and still allows small cars the space to park normally too.

What gets me, is when a small compact takes up one of the "big" spots, therefore disallowing 2 large cars those spots. Its tough to find a space to park in when this happens...for real. My car just doesn't fit anywhere. When I came back from lunch today, a tiny compact was smack dab in the middle of those spots, making it impossible for a car, small or large, to park on either side of him. So, basically, there were 2 empty spots on either side just too small for someone to park in. I was sooo irritated. I just don't get the lack of courtesy or common sense or selfishness; call it what you will.

Yes, I get that those spots are "fair game". Yes, I understand that just because I choose to drive a big car doesn't make those spots "mine". But I am still irritated and bewildered at the lack of common courtesy or thought process.

BTW, I think the same thing about motorcycles..they should seek out a spot that cars can't easily fit in so it frees spots for cars. (Can you tell we are having space issues at work?)

Comments?

Not Really Work-Related

But, still, a serious question.

...

How long do I wait to remove the "In A Relationship with Scrub*" status from my social networking accounts?

Any suggestions?

* Scrub is the now ex-boyfriend. (He has 2 part-time jobs but still can't pay rent or cover (and/or split) the tab for anything.

Doing Other People's Work and Sexual Harassment

I am sick of doing other people's work. Simple as that. I am tired of having to do Dragon's work while she is gone (well, part of it) and having to train her temp. I no longer want to deal with the cell phones for our corporate office because our incompetent IT department screwed it up so badly that we are paying like $4k more than we should be a month. Losers. To top it off, IT just hired a new full time lemming. WTF. I have plenty on my plate, but I am a self described ass kisser, so any extra I do or mess that I jump into and clean up makes me look good. Damn ethics!

I agreed to play on the company slow pitch softball team for the 2nd part of the season. We have a lot of fun and it gives me a break from dealing with people solely at work, so it seemed like a good agreement. Plus, I get to dust off my cleats and glove and play ball. I used to play fast pitch in college...WAY back in the day, so I can catch (most of the time) and I can hit decently (sometimes) so I don't completely suck, which is nice. I did resolve to go out after with the team and drink more often. That should be interesting. Usually that leads to my volume turning way up and motorboating. Might be fun, if the harassment thing is off of the table! ha Plus, I am a total perv so I love to sexually harass people. I am careful at work most of the time, although I did thank a male member of management for sharing his chocolate covered nuts with me. He turned beet red and said "any time". Funny.

Tomorrow is Friday. Thank God. We'll see who I can harass today. There are a couple of good prospects......

Did you know?

So, I was called into my weekly lone-ranger meeting with my boss, meaning it is a meeting with just me and her. A "don't suck at your job" meeting, basically.

I have mentioned that she has been gone the last few weeks. She had been travelling to our International Headquarters in, obviously, a foreign country. We were discussing the differences in business cultures (like I really give a crap, but, hey, gotta keep that nose brown), and she said that over there, the pressure and stress are palpable. That 12 hour days are the norm, and that the pressures are very high and that a lot gets done. No down time at all to chit chat or have "Popcorn Wednesdays", (Yes, we have that here), or Friday morning breakfast. She summarized it to say that she "is worried that we all screw off too much over here." Awesome. Well, I am writing this blog from the comfort of my desk at work, so maybe she is right? Thoughts??

Tuesdays Suck Too

So, just to clarify, I am a bitcher. I love to bitch about things if they arent "right" in my world. And, let's just face it, this is Tsunami's world and you are all just fun observers. haha
So vacation was decent, but I need a vacation from my vacation. I have been answering e-mails and catching up on work. Fun morning. My boss is back from her work trip and is in meetings all morning, so I dodged that bullet for now.

One really fun thing I got to do this morning is call AT&T and find out why they effed up an order placed on June 30th to be overnighted to an executive for arrival on July 1. I still havent gotten the phone.....WTF? The exec is pissed, I look like an idiot, and I took my frustration on the poor chick that picked up my call at the AT&T call-farm. That job has to suck. I ended up speaking to a supervisor who basically told me "oh well....stuff happens" so I made her note in my account my "frustration and anger" towards this matter. I think I ended up getting the rep fired...yay me! Poor schmuck....screwed up the WRONG order. Idiot.

I ordered some Avon stuff from a chick I will name Buffet Ninja (on account that she is a lard ass). I was supposed to get it last week...and NOPE, got it today. And she was not apoligetic, at all. Whatevs. I will now order all of my useless make up and related crap from Fuki's mom..maybe she will appreciate it. PLUS, Fuki's mom (and Fuki technically) gave me a bunch of happies from Avon this morning that seriously made my day. AWESOME!!

Anyway, this Tuesday isnt too bad...so far. BTW, Dragon is on medical leave for 6 weeks. YESSSS!!!!!! :)

Skype Conversations 1.0

Skype is a wonderful IM tool, fully utilized at our place of employment. And these little gems need to be documented.


Tsunami: how many times have you talked to him??
Tsunami: seriously, on paper (and in real life) you are a catch

Kami: just the once on the phone, but we've been texting and emailing

Tsunami: masters, good job, self sufficient, good looking
Tsunami: you are the one in a million

Kami: aww, thanks T

Tsunami: no problem. just speaking gospel girl

Kami: I’m great breeding material

Tsunami: and tell him I will kick his ass if he does anything wrong
Tsunami: haha
Tsunami: yeah, forgot Mensa member
Tsunami: and those child bearing hips
Tsunami: excellent

Kami: haha

Tsunami: and now that you have your crows feet cream, you are golden

Kami: lovely

Tsunami: ha

Kami: so why am I single?
Kami: wwwhhhhyy? ;(

Fuki: Extremely high expectations

Kami: no
Kami: try again

Fuki: Too much vaginal wetness?

Kami: God I just read that while on the phone with the bank
Kami: and actually laughed out loud

Fuki: Sweet

Tsunami: awesome

Mondays Suck pt 2

So, it is Monday, yet again. And I am exhasted, yet again. But what makes it truly suck? I am the only one here. And I brought gifts from my weekend trip, and I won't be able to give them until tomorrow.

Ugh.

Sadly, their absense makes me more productive, although I have tried like hell to read up from all of the weekend news. There are 2 sites I get really excited about on Mondays.

One is Postsecret. New secrets every Sunday!

The other is TextsFromLastNight. This little gem has alot of activity during the weekend, so Monday is a great day to catch up. I swear this is a more reliable news/gossip source than msn.com. I have also used Urban Dictionary 10X more since reading these - I didn't realize how out of the loop I was.

So, I hope this helps you on your quest to defeat your case of the Mondays.

Now, send me some new sites to read up on - I have hit rock bottom.

Monday's Suck

So, this weekend was long..full of too much alcohol and too many trampy chicks wanting to brawl, so I was actually looking forward on a really fundamental level to come to work and resume some semblance of normalcy. WTF was I thinking if I thought that would happen here? Morning started out ok. Had to drop off the car to get serviced and Kami was nice enough to pick me up. I was going to be pro-active and walk across the dirt lot so she didnt have to flip a bitch at the light, so I walked across the lot, crossed the street, and proceeded to watch Kami U-turn for me (she didnt see me at all) and that forced me to walk back across the street and subsequently the lot. Effing rad. Keep in mind, that this was done in my 2 1/2" heels and a skirt. Anyway, I was already self conscience because I dont match today...dont you hate that? My outfit "goes" but it doesnt quite match; add that to the fact that I could sleep for 2 weeks straight, and my morning was off to a great start.

I walked into the office and apparently Kami and Dragon had a weird, disrespectful event occur over the weekend and due only to proximity, I was in the middle of words and palpable anger. Fun! Nothing like simmering estrogen before my morning Diet Pepsi. Awesome.

Anyway, boss is out of the country so work is decent. Yay! AND, vacation starts on Wednesday, so basically, if I can get through the rest of today and tomorrow, I am golden. Whew.

Oh yeah, someone tell the women I work with that socks with fake Teva's looks terrible and that if you are fat (OR skinny for that matter), you should NEVER wear a tank top with stretch pants....ew.

Gambling Problem?

So, I would like to stress that I love my job. If this job was a cake, I would love it like a fat kid. It satisfies everything in me that doesn't have to do with romance. Seriously.

Want to pay on your bills on time? Score! Because...

1. You're getting paid
2. You have uninterrupted internet access to pay online
3. Or if paying by mail, someone will deliver your mail to the PO for you.

Want to spend hours with your people you like?

1. Get hired where people your own age and affluency also work.
2. Spend lunch and break with said people.
3. Occasionally schedule an office-wide Beer:30 at local sports bar.
4. Join company sponsered co-ed softball team. Follow up each game with sports bar action.

Want to satisfy your gambling addiction/overly-competitive spirit?

1. Find other coworkers who also have an overly-competitive spirit
2. Set up pools, i.e. seasonal sports; birth times, weights and dates
3. Create a Biggest Loser type competition and go so far as to sabotage the other competitors.
4. Make a betting book, and set up bets for random life happenings.
5. Try and skew workplace competitions so that we somehow win.

I know it isn't very ethical, but it sure is productive. An example?

When on our company retreat to Palm Springs, all of the employees were given drink tickets. Like 2. And there was an icebreaker competition that in order to win, you had to get the most stickers from other employees. Now, there were about 600 people at this retreat. The odds of winning? 1 in 200. Not very good odds. So we "sold" our stickers for drink tickets. Talk about mutually beneficial! 2 of the 3 winners were "clients" of ours.

It is fantastic to be in a workplace that fosters, no - enourages this little joy.

I love this job.

Um, did you get dressed in the dark?

Every office has its share of fashion faux pas; ours is no exception. Actually, on some days, I think our office could be the poster office of bad fashion. And it's not necessarily bad fashion, so much as poorly place fashion.

Take leggings, for example. Great on some people. Like 8 year olds. Ballerinas. Skinny people circa 1985. Meet Orca. Orca is a lady of size. Not gigantica or anything, but a big girl. She insists on wearing leggings. And not just any leggings, shiny, metallic leggings....leggings that are SO tight that they stretch enough to where they are see through. So stretched that I think I can actually hear them crying for help. It looks like small animals are fighting under her pants, begging to get out. ::shudder::

Then there's Spicy Tuna. She has a different fashion sense. Not bad, per se, just different. Perhaps she's trying to be more high fashion than our little town can take...or something like that. With Spicy T, the clothes aren't the problem so much as the size of the clothes. They all look like they fit very well, about 25 lbs ago. And it's not just that they are tight, but that they look so uncomfortable that it makes me uncomfortable. Some days I really wonder how she is able to breathe....poor thing.

Finally, we have Catfish. She wears all things cat-print. Whether it be the leopard print pants (with matching shirt, of course) or the tiger sweater, she is a cougar on the prowl. Except that she's not. Thus the basis of the problem. In the words of Van Wilder, ME-OW!

Funny Friday

The SECOND I got here this morning, the day started with laughter…which is awesome! (Plus, it's a Friday which means breakfast…rock on!) Our company is fantastic enough to employ for the summer the kids of its employees. A couple of such kid is a 16 year old and his 19 year old brother. Nice enough kids, but still lacking in the social skills necessary to be truly cool…although they try! I pulled up like 15 minutes early and the kids pulled up nearly the same time. The 16 year old was driving, (come to find out later that he has had his license for 2 WHOLE days! YIKES!) And big bro was chilling in the passenger seat. For some unknown reason, the duo decides it would be a good idea to back the parent-purchased vehicle into the slot closest to the building. Ok, good in theory; funny consequences if you have only had your license for 2 days. 16 year old kept hitting the curb on the passenger side with the tires, almost jumping the curb a couple of times into the bushes that flank the building and while attempting to look out his window to see where he was on his side, smacked his forehead on the window...HARD! Then, he stopped like 25 feet from the back of the parking spot. OMG…funny as hell! OF COURSE I seized the opportunity to open my door and laugh at the kid (I am such a bitch...heehee) and he was this deep scarlet red. I let him off the hook though when I told him that I cheat as I have sensors on my car to help with backing. Whatever. Poor Milksop. BTW, the older bro tripped on the stairs and dumped his chocolate donut and cup of luke warm coffee…freaking funny kids, man. I am still chuckling. Good Times!

Upon entering my office, Dragon informed me that she was written up yesterday for insubordination and not returning correspondence promptly. She attempted to tell me that she returned this message "48 hours later" when she had "figured it out". Really?!?! If there is a hint of importance, isn't it an unspoken rule that you acknowledge the message at a minimum with something like "I am in receipt of your request. In preliminary research, I have determined that this task will require some time for completion. I will forward this to you as soon as I can, keeping you abreast of progress."? OR, maybe, I don't know what the hell you are asking so clarify, loser. SOMETHING! Jeezzz. I guess you make your bed you lie in it. No doubt drama will ensue.

Happy Friday all. Talk more later!

(From Tsunami, even though it says Kami)

Testing the "text-to-blog" function

Hi From Tsunami

Ok, here we go this bus ride of workplace adventure! I am Tsunami, the most experienced (yes that means oldest, damnit!) of the 3 bloggers here, so my perspective will be a little different than Fuki and Kami. Shocking, I know. Same page basically, but different in some respects. So, we all work together and we have forged a friendship, to begin with, out of necessity. Going to work would suck without having someone to share the laughs with, and this place gives up plenty of fodder for laughter. It is now a friendship that spills into all aspects of life…nice for all of us…most of the time.

To begin, clarity on the Dragon situation. I share an office with Dragon…lucky me. It's a big-assed office, so space is not an issue. In fact, I have installed a cubicle wall so I can separate myself from the rest of the freaks on some level….good luck with that. I have a whole level of weirdness that the others don't get to experience. Some days = stability, while other days = chaos. WTF? It's a tidal wave of bizarreness that I think most days is annoying and hysterical and sad at the same time, different moments for all. I drink it all in and thank God my life is in some semblance of normalcy…I think?

I love my job, for the most part. I am grateful that I have one at this juncture, not because I suck, but because the economy does. Go figure.

So, comment on what you want to…read the rest and enjoy the ride. It is going to be a fun one!

(From Tsunami, even though it says Kami)

Hi, I'm Kami.

Hi, I'm Kamikaze. Yes, that's my real name. Well, I supposed that depends on your definition of real. For the purpose of this blog, it is real. But I'll let you call me Kami. Because that's how I roll.

Anyway, to add to the previous post, this blog is going to serve as a way for the three of us (one more intro to come) to vent. We will try to keep it related to work, but I'm sure our home lives will spill over...but fear not, because everything we say is fascinating.

To add to the Dragon debate, let me mention this- our friend/coworker sort of SUCKS at her job. I don't think it's an inability as much as an unwillingness to give it effort. Oh, and her attitude is on par with her job performance. And- this just in- she totally threw me under the bus. Me! ::shakes head::

So, do we give her fair warning and suggest she starts looking for a job? Or do we just act surprised when the axe finally falls?

Welcome!

I would like to intro myself. My name is Fuki. Yes, it is a fake name. But this blog will be my, and my girlfriends/coworkers, place to vent about workplace dramas. Therefore some discretion is needed. This will be a no-holds barred place of discussion. We welcome all comments and opinions.

I would like to also mention, that there may also be some cross-over from our private lives. Because, honestly, how can you write about work, and NOT include the other aspects of your life a little? Especially when the chicks you drink with ARE your coworkers?

With that, let's jump right into the soup.



Today we found out a little tidbit about a fellow coworker. One that poses the question:

If you find out someone is going to be let go - do you tell them before the deed is accomplished?

A few touch points...

1. The person in this untenable position, let's call her Dragon, was once part of our little group, very much a part of our confidences.

2. She has spent the last 6-9 months alienating us, and then getting angry with us for not being more effusive with her.

3. She can generate drama at the drop of a hat. This is a double edged sword; a) the excitement makes for fun Friday ventures, 2) the constant need for attention is draining.


And we can not really dispute the fact that she is not getting let go unjustly.

Would you tell her?