Monday's Suck

So, this weekend was long..full of too much alcohol and too many trampy chicks wanting to brawl, so I was actually looking forward on a really fundamental level to come to work and resume some semblance of normalcy. WTF was I thinking if I thought that would happen here? Morning started out ok. Had to drop off the car to get serviced and Kami was nice enough to pick me up. I was going to be pro-active and walk across the dirt lot so she didnt have to flip a bitch at the light, so I walked across the lot, crossed the street, and proceeded to watch Kami U-turn for me (she didnt see me at all) and that forced me to walk back across the street and subsequently the lot. Effing rad. Keep in mind, that this was done in my 2 1/2" heels and a skirt. Anyway, I was already self conscience because I dont match today...dont you hate that? My outfit "goes" but it doesnt quite match; add that to the fact that I could sleep for 2 weeks straight, and my morning was off to a great start.

I walked into the office and apparently Kami and Dragon had a weird, disrespectful event occur over the weekend and due only to proximity, I was in the middle of words and palpable anger. Fun! Nothing like simmering estrogen before my morning Diet Pepsi. Awesome.

Anyway, boss is out of the country so work is decent. Yay! AND, vacation starts on Wednesday, so basically, if I can get through the rest of today and tomorrow, I am golden. Whew.

Oh yeah, someone tell the women I work with that socks with fake Teva's looks terrible and that if you are fat (OR skinny for that matter), you should NEVER wear a tank top with stretch pants....ew.

Gambling Problem?

So, I would like to stress that I love my job. If this job was a cake, I would love it like a fat kid. It satisfies everything in me that doesn't have to do with romance. Seriously.

Want to pay on your bills on time? Score! Because...

1. You're getting paid
2. You have uninterrupted internet access to pay online
3. Or if paying by mail, someone will deliver your mail to the PO for you.

Want to spend hours with your people you like?

1. Get hired where people your own age and affluency also work.
2. Spend lunch and break with said people.
3. Occasionally schedule an office-wide Beer:30 at local sports bar.
4. Join company sponsered co-ed softball team. Follow up each game with sports bar action.

Want to satisfy your gambling addiction/overly-competitive spirit?

1. Find other coworkers who also have an overly-competitive spirit
2. Set up pools, i.e. seasonal sports; birth times, weights and dates
3. Create a Biggest Loser type competition and go so far as to sabotage the other competitors.
4. Make a betting book, and set up bets for random life happenings.
5. Try and skew workplace competitions so that we somehow win.

I know it isn't very ethical, but it sure is productive. An example?

When on our company retreat to Palm Springs, all of the employees were given drink tickets. Like 2. And there was an icebreaker competition that in order to win, you had to get the most stickers from other employees. Now, there were about 600 people at this retreat. The odds of winning? 1 in 200. Not very good odds. So we "sold" our stickers for drink tickets. Talk about mutually beneficial! 2 of the 3 winners were "clients" of ours.

It is fantastic to be in a workplace that fosters, no - enourages this little joy.

I love this job.

Um, did you get dressed in the dark?

Every office has its share of fashion faux pas; ours is no exception. Actually, on some days, I think our office could be the poster office of bad fashion. And it's not necessarily bad fashion, so much as poorly place fashion.

Take leggings, for example. Great on some people. Like 8 year olds. Ballerinas. Skinny people circa 1985. Meet Orca. Orca is a lady of size. Not gigantica or anything, but a big girl. She insists on wearing leggings. And not just any leggings, shiny, metallic leggings....leggings that are SO tight that they stretch enough to where they are see through. So stretched that I think I can actually hear them crying for help. It looks like small animals are fighting under her pants, begging to get out. ::shudder::

Then there's Spicy Tuna. She has a different fashion sense. Not bad, per se, just different. Perhaps she's trying to be more high fashion than our little town can take...or something like that. With Spicy T, the clothes aren't the problem so much as the size of the clothes. They all look like they fit very well, about 25 lbs ago. And it's not just that they are tight, but that they look so uncomfortable that it makes me uncomfortable. Some days I really wonder how she is able to breathe....poor thing.

Finally, we have Catfish. She wears all things cat-print. Whether it be the leopard print pants (with matching shirt, of course) or the tiger sweater, she is a cougar on the prowl. Except that she's not. Thus the basis of the problem. In the words of Van Wilder, ME-OW!

Funny Friday

The SECOND I got here this morning, the day started with laughter…which is awesome! (Plus, it's a Friday which means breakfast…rock on!) Our company is fantastic enough to employ for the summer the kids of its employees. A couple of such kid is a 16 year old and his 19 year old brother. Nice enough kids, but still lacking in the social skills necessary to be truly cool…although they try! I pulled up like 15 minutes early and the kids pulled up nearly the same time. The 16 year old was driving, (come to find out later that he has had his license for 2 WHOLE days! YIKES!) And big bro was chilling in the passenger seat. For some unknown reason, the duo decides it would be a good idea to back the parent-purchased vehicle into the slot closest to the building. Ok, good in theory; funny consequences if you have only had your license for 2 days. 16 year old kept hitting the curb on the passenger side with the tires, almost jumping the curb a couple of times into the bushes that flank the building and while attempting to look out his window to see where he was on his side, smacked his forehead on the window...HARD! Then, he stopped like 25 feet from the back of the parking spot. OMG…funny as hell! OF COURSE I seized the opportunity to open my door and laugh at the kid (I am such a bitch...heehee) and he was this deep scarlet red. I let him off the hook though when I told him that I cheat as I have sensors on my car to help with backing. Whatever. Poor Milksop. BTW, the older bro tripped on the stairs and dumped his chocolate donut and cup of luke warm coffee…freaking funny kids, man. I am still chuckling. Good Times!

Upon entering my office, Dragon informed me that she was written up yesterday for insubordination and not returning correspondence promptly. She attempted to tell me that she returned this message "48 hours later" when she had "figured it out". Really?!?! If there is a hint of importance, isn't it an unspoken rule that you acknowledge the message at a minimum with something like "I am in receipt of your request. In preliminary research, I have determined that this task will require some time for completion. I will forward this to you as soon as I can, keeping you abreast of progress."? OR, maybe, I don't know what the hell you are asking so clarify, loser. SOMETHING! Jeezzz. I guess you make your bed you lie in it. No doubt drama will ensue.

Happy Friday all. Talk more later!

(From Tsunami, even though it says Kami)

Testing the "text-to-blog" function

Hi From Tsunami

Ok, here we go this bus ride of workplace adventure! I am Tsunami, the most experienced (yes that means oldest, damnit!) of the 3 bloggers here, so my perspective will be a little different than Fuki and Kami. Shocking, I know. Same page basically, but different in some respects. So, we all work together and we have forged a friendship, to begin with, out of necessity. Going to work would suck without having someone to share the laughs with, and this place gives up plenty of fodder for laughter. It is now a friendship that spills into all aspects of life…nice for all of us…most of the time.

To begin, clarity on the Dragon situation. I share an office with Dragon…lucky me. It's a big-assed office, so space is not an issue. In fact, I have installed a cubicle wall so I can separate myself from the rest of the freaks on some level….good luck with that. I have a whole level of weirdness that the others don't get to experience. Some days = stability, while other days = chaos. WTF? It's a tidal wave of bizarreness that I think most days is annoying and hysterical and sad at the same time, different moments for all. I drink it all in and thank God my life is in some semblance of normalcy…I think?

I love my job, for the most part. I am grateful that I have one at this juncture, not because I suck, but because the economy does. Go figure.

So, comment on what you want to…read the rest and enjoy the ride. It is going to be a fun one!

(From Tsunami, even though it says Kami)

Hi, I'm Kami.

Hi, I'm Kamikaze. Yes, that's my real name. Well, I supposed that depends on your definition of real. For the purpose of this blog, it is real. But I'll let you call me Kami. Because that's how I roll.

Anyway, to add to the previous post, this blog is going to serve as a way for the three of us (one more intro to come) to vent. We will try to keep it related to work, but I'm sure our home lives will spill over...but fear not, because everything we say is fascinating.

To add to the Dragon debate, let me mention this- our friend/coworker sort of SUCKS at her job. I don't think it's an inability as much as an unwillingness to give it effort. Oh, and her attitude is on par with her job performance. And- this just in- she totally threw me under the bus. Me! ::shakes head::

So, do we give her fair warning and suggest she starts looking for a job? Or do we just act surprised when the axe finally falls?

Welcome!

I would like to intro myself. My name is Fuki. Yes, it is a fake name. But this blog will be my, and my girlfriends/coworkers, place to vent about workplace dramas. Therefore some discretion is needed. This will be a no-holds barred place of discussion. We welcome all comments and opinions.

I would like to also mention, that there may also be some cross-over from our private lives. Because, honestly, how can you write about work, and NOT include the other aspects of your life a little? Especially when the chicks you drink with ARE your coworkers?

With that, let's jump right into the soup.



Today we found out a little tidbit about a fellow coworker. One that poses the question:

If you find out someone is going to be let go - do you tell them before the deed is accomplished?

A few touch points...

1. The person in this untenable position, let's call her Dragon, was once part of our little group, very much a part of our confidences.

2. She has spent the last 6-9 months alienating us, and then getting angry with us for not being more effusive with her.

3. She can generate drama at the drop of a hat. This is a double edged sword; a) the excitement makes for fun Friday ventures, 2) the constant need for attention is draining.


And we can not really dispute the fact that she is not getting let go unjustly.

Would you tell her?